You don't have to plan your wedding on your own.
Guys you know I’m all about getting stuff done, I like to be in control, I like to plan, I like to be on top of things, but when you're a bride, THAT IS SO HARD TO DO. There is so much to plan, so much stress, a lot of people pleasing if you're anything like the TYPE 2 Enneagram me....and I loved being with all of my people I trust and that got overwhelming with a LOT of ideas- so I want to share some things that I did in the past that completely wasted my time and energy. By sharing these, I hope I can help you avoid the same issues I had with wedding planning. BRIDES this one is for you!
1) I DID NOT HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER OR DAY OF COORDINATOR. I hired friends that I trusted. and I didn't pay them. OUCH...do not get me wrong. THEY KNOW ME. I TRUST THEM. BUT I STILL COULD NOT LET GO. Not in the way they needed me to...
I thought the more friends I had in my wedding and the more I worked with my own second shooter team, then it would help me plan my wedding faster, that it would cost less, and that I would get more things done...
In reality, this hurt my progress-I put a lot on my team, I was straining my own mind, brain, stress, body, energy, and emotional ability to cope with working two full time jobs and being a bride...I also went through a transition at my job. I added a lot to my second's plate and looking back I wish I had hired a planner, one I trust, like Chelsey Vaughn Crawley with Five Feathers Events and Holly Masters with Mastered Events. I've worked with them before. They could have helped me budget, help me plan, help me find deals, help me HELP Sabrina and Alexis the day of to be less stressed, more free and able to move around, and they would have had more help. I love what they did for me, and everything turned out perfectly, I just didn't see them a lot and I know there were a lot of last minute week of changes that about made us all roll over on the ground. LOL. Hire a planner, ladies. Hire a day of coordinator, save yourself, your relationship, your friendships, and your vendors. I say that kidding, but I also mean it. I cannot stress the importance of the love I had for Holly or Chelsey when we get to work with them.
2) I DID NOT CREATE A BUDGET. WHAT....
Back then I believed that I should just go with the flow, pay as I go, and plan a tentative budget, that we would get by if we just paid monthly and that if we could pay off things fast, then there would not be hidden fees or things that came up later....WRONG, but there was no strategy involved in our budget and Matt and I really had a hard time keeping up with what got paid, how much we needed left to pay, and what needed to get done. We managed, we did it, we got through it. BUT WHERE WAS MY ORGANIZATION SELF AND BINDER(S)? They got lost in all of the stress. Do yourself a favor and create a budget or buy one online. Buy a planner for brides. Let us help you find one that fits you, best!
3) I WAITED TO FIND MY DREAM DRESS.
Some people find their dream dress on the first day of the first month they got engaged. I waited. I read a lot of blogs, I did a lot of pinterest, I lost some weight....and I went in January, 7 months before my wedding. I thought I had enough time. I didn't.....my dress came back in LATE JULY. My dress took 3-4 weeks to be ALTERED. I DID MY BRIDALS 2 weeks before our wedding and I was F R E A K I N G. Luckily, my seamstress, the castle, and our photographer were all literal angels and helped me plan and through the chaos we got it all accomplished. But some of yall somehow find your dress on day one and it doesn't take 6 months to come in. I say that for you to be prepared when you go into that dress shopping experience, to ask all the questions BEFORE you get there. How long is your process? When can I take this dress home? Is this the dress and size I get to take home today? Do you do payment plans? How long does it took to get this dress shipped and ordered and returned to me? How long is the process for alterations? How far in advance do I need my bridals? Can I order portraits with this much time? Do I want a photo book? How long will that take and where does it come from, where should I order? These are such important questions. Things...that as a wedding photographer I am embarrassed that I did NOT ask my own self...because I am always reminding my brides of them.
I did this because…I felt like I could do it all. I didn't want to be a burden to Matt, to my parents, to Alexis + Sabrina, to my vendors, to my friends....I tried to do it all and I really didn't let anyone help me. Looking back, a lot of people offered and it just didn't fit my agenda. I wish I was more vulnerable and that I would have shared in my despair, shared in my discomfort, and leaned into the uncomfortable-ness of stress that I was feeling.
Well it turns out that it wasted my time because…there ARE people who wanted to help, I have amazing friends, family, and my team is wonderful. My husband wanted to help but knew I wanted things a certain way....and NOW I CAN HELP YALL. Because we know coordinators and day of planners, we know other vendors who we love and trust, I have my own big team now, and we have a venue we would recommend above any other to help facilitate your day.
Now, its your turn! What things have you done to try and achieve the wedding planning process seamlessly? Let us help you if you are having trouble. We are always here for ya'll!
Share in the comments!
All Photography in this post is by: Emily Anne Photography. Click the link below!
Holly's website: https://masteredeventssc.com/about
Chelsey's website: https://www.fivefeathersevents.com/
